I am at school. School sucks. It isn't the place, it mostly isn't the people, it's the fact that I am trapped, yes trapped, somewhere where I have no motivation to complete what I am supposed to be completing. Sheesh. As Gerlinde puts it, sleeping is the best part of the day and even then it kind of sucks because you have to eventually wake up.
My dreams are more so related to the outside world and imagining that I am not here, in such a manipulative, meaningless place, where life barely exists. Instead materialistic and egocentric beings have taken the place of people I once would have loved to be with. Such as individuals whose motivation is based on exploring other states of consciousness which leads to them not caring whether or not anything happens with anyone or anything; this may show how chill they are and this personality trait, which is actually drug induced, may intise stupid sheep, like me, to want to hang out with them; however do not be FOOLED people! This guy this tiny excuse for a person isn't exploring and he certainly isn't learning and even though he claims to want what is best for the world and everyone in, such as "world peace" or whatever he is more interested in being listened to. That is the most important thing to him. When it gets to the point where you don't want to listen to anyone and consider any one's point of view, there is a problem. Sure he can hide behind weed for a while, an excuse for his countless surgeries, but without that excuse what does he have? Classes? nope, he dropped almost all of them. So he has one class every day, what does he do in his spare time? Who knows. Does it matter? His life is whithering away. He complains about living here yet he refuses to embrace it, instead he constantly reminisces about life in the big bad city. Yes, I understand that you come from a highly populated city, thank you for constantly reminding me. So what are you doing here? You don't know what you want, but you know you don't like it here. Drop out dude. Do something. I hate school, I do but I have to complete it to go into the peace core and escape this crazy world where life is disposable. My life is disposable but maybe somewhere in the world I can find a meaning for it. But you. You're disposable in an entirely different way, in that you are dead already and you think that makes you smart. whoops.
My dreams are more so related to the outside world and imagining that I am not here, in such a manipulative, meaningless place, where life barely exists. Instead materialistic and egocentric beings have taken the place of people I once would have loved to be with. Such as individuals whose motivation is based on exploring other states of consciousness which leads to them not caring whether or not anything happens with anyone or anything; this may show how chill they are and this personality trait, which is actually drug induced, may intise stupid sheep, like me, to want to hang out with them; however do not be FOOLED people! This guy this tiny excuse for a person isn't exploring and he certainly isn't learning and even though he claims to want what is best for the world and everyone in, such as "world peace" or whatever he is more interested in being listened to. That is the most important thing to him. When it gets to the point where you don't want to listen to anyone and consider any one's point of view, there is a problem. Sure he can hide behind weed for a while, an excuse for his countless surgeries, but without that excuse what does he have? Classes? nope, he dropped almost all of them. So he has one class every day, what does he do in his spare time? Who knows. Does it matter? His life is whithering away. He complains about living here yet he refuses to embrace it, instead he constantly reminisces about life in the big bad city. Yes, I understand that you come from a highly populated city, thank you for constantly reminding me. So what are you doing here? You don't know what you want, but you know you don't like it here. Drop out dude. Do something. I hate school, I do but I have to complete it to go into the peace core and escape this crazy world where life is disposable. My life is disposable but maybe somewhere in the world I can find a meaning for it. But you. You're disposable in an entirely different way, in that you are dead already and you think that makes you smart. whoops.
So I live with a clean perfectionist. Clean clean clean, alll the time. Sure I clean up after myself and sure I clean up after her (ironic.) and that's fine, but don't lecture me because you like to run the dish washer a couple thousand times a week. Maybe you shouldn't waste water, maybe you should cry about how the world is going to end if there is a crumb hanging out on the stove, or MAYBE you should stop bitching and clean that fucking crumb yourself because you are the one psycho afraid of it. Go ahead. Do it. Embrace the crumb.
I thought I was going crazy because I saw this other side of a person that he showed only to me. (I am SO lucky!) Everyone saw the happy fun loving, cool side of him, while I was stuck with the crazy protective and a little psychotic side of him. I got to see the fun loving side but only around other people. I suddenly realized that he blames me for everything that goes wrong in HIS life. As if I am suddenly volunteering to be his symbol of his personal hell. Well, I figured maybeeeee I will not be caught with him by myself. Of course he also tells everyone that I am ruining his life. EEK. No idea why. Slightly psychotic. Why is my life surrounded me psychos???? Am I nonchalantly a psycho too? Maybe. Everyone is at heart, but I have an magnetic appeal to people with problems. To show how true that is, is proof from which I have never (NOT ONCE) had a room mate for more than two months in the past three years. *sigh* oh goodness.
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